Common misconceptions about MBTI(r)
#9 Common MBTI(r) questions and why I love Type
When I was first certified in administering the MBTI(r) back in 2010, I made the same mistake almost everyone makes when filling out the questionnaire: I answered it from a place of where I was at the time, instead of connecting to my innate preferences, i.e. who I was and had always been at my core. Not surprisingly, I did not resonate with the result (ENFP), and spent a lot of time arguing with the instructor about how I’m not a perceiving type. In the end, he relented and said only a judging type would be this upset about it and wanting to get it right.
Since then, I’ve spent many years diving much deeper, beyond the MBTI(r)’s four letters into the eight Jungian functions, into adjacent models and theories including Temperament, Essential Motivators, Interaction Styles, neuroscience of Type, Type development, and more recently, 64 subtypes.
However, I was reminded of my own beginnings, because I gave an introductory MBTI(r) workshop to a very diverse team of 19 participants this week, and they raised all the familiar beginner questions.
When we look at the functions, how do I choose between them? I do them both, so they exist on a spectrum, right?
Well, not exactly. What you’re thinking of is a different model of personality measurement: the trait approach that measures “how much” of something you have. This is based on the assumption that every individual is basically the same, made out of the same personality trait building blocks, and that we only vary in how much of each trait we possess. That enables psychologists and researchers to plot human individuals statistically on a bell-curve, with a majority somewhere in the middle, and outliers at the fringes.
Type theory, on the other hand, is based on Jung’s model of psychological type, which is a model of complementary opposites. At any given time, your brain is either working on processing information (using Sensing or Intuiting functions) or making decisions (using rational Thinking or Feeling functions). While you’re busy Sensing, i.e., engaging your tactical, practical, pragmatic, tangible perception, you cannot also at the same time be dipping into your intuition. Similarly, while you’re considering logical, analytical, cause-and-effect reasoning, you cannot also at the same time reflect on your personal values or harmonize and empathize with others.
These four functions are like cars at a cross-roads, if they all drove at the same time, there’d be a crash. One of the perceiving functions will come before one of the judging functions, or vice versa. Now, do we all have access to all eight functions? Absolutely yes. But we differ in the order in which we prefer to use them, i.e., the ones our brains go to first. That is your preference. You can do both, but you prefer to do one. Even if it’s just a slight preference, it’s still a ranking. Kind of like if you lived in El Paso, Texas - you’d be very close to the Mexican border, but you’d still live in the US.
But this is really difficult, how do I know which one I am? If you’re asking about behavior, I have 3 kids, and I do what I have to do; whatever’s best for my family. I was different when I was younger, surely my Type has changed over time.
Type is stable, yet dynamic.
The MBTI(r) questionnaire is trying to help you ascertain how you would behave in your ideal world. When left to your own devices, no matter the consequences, which behavior would leave you feeling most energized, at peace, and aligned with your favorite self?
We all come into the world with a predisposition to use our brains in certain ways. That’s our core self that we’re trying to connect with; the starting point. By definition, a starting point doesn’t change.
Because we live in a society that puts contextual pressures on us, we develop personas, or masks, that we use to show up as functional, professional, productive members of society. Especially in the work place, many of use don’t actually bring our whole true selves, because we fear we might not measure up. Type is trying to strip that away and encourage you to embrace who you really are at your core, and to trust that that person with those preferences has beautiful innate qualities and talents, while also having opportunities for growth and development. No type is better or worse than another, they’re just expressing different preferences.
So it’s not about who you have to be at work, or who you want to be after you get your next PhD, or who you think you should be, because someone else told you they’d like you better if you changed.
What we’re really asking is, when you were growing up, did you get to be you? Or did you have to act in ways that go against your core because otherwise you felt you'd be excluded or unsafe? If you could breathe through all that pain that might be coming up with that question; if you could tune into that little inner voice that you know is always there whispering, what would it say your preferences really are? That way your own homecoming back to your center core self lies.
What you think is your Type changing is actually your Type developing. The older you get, the more jobs you’ve had, the more relationships you’ve experienced - you’re building out the skills of your innate preferences, and adapting into the different contexts. Kind of like your native language and a maybe a dialect you’re picking up after spending some time in another country.
Remembering back to my certification training, there were other clues about my best-fit Type. For example, we did a drawing exercise and a class mate’s ENFP image was all about clouds, while mine was a tree with, like, heart-shaped apples. ENFP’s dominant function is extraverted Intuiting, which is all about ideas, possibilities, potentials, and connections. ENFJ’s dominant function is extraverted Feeling, which is all about harmonizing, empathizing, connecting with others, making friends, and yes, sometimes it’s just gushing love.
While I feel like I have well-developed extraverted Intuiting (I come up with alternative options for my coaching clients all the time, and have more social media content ideas than I could ever execute), I knew even then that my Feeling function is the dominant one, and I know my orientation to time is work first, play later. Sure, that might be my German cultural influence as well, but the inner sense of urgency I feel as soon as I know there’s a deadline - that’s judging.
My best-fit Type is ENFJ. Over the years, I’ve confirmed it using other Type models as well. For example, in Dr. Linda Berens’ Interaction Styles model, the ENFP would be a Get-Things-Going(TM) style, where the core drive is to involve everyone and get people to want to be involved. I’d love to be that patient, persuasive, and generous. Alas, my core style is more aligned with the ENFJ’s In-Charge(TM), which is all about forward movement, quick decisions, and confidence in being able to deal with whatever happens.
Once I’ve accepted my best-fit preferences, I had a framework to better understand so many of my triggers, my interactions with others, why I take things so personally, why I have to learn how to set boundaries, and so many more things.
I love Type, it saved my marriage, and it’s the best model I know for personal development and relational skill-building, because it illuminates how we make meaning of the world, i.e., why we interpret interactions the way we do.
Do you know your Type? How are you using it in your life? If you don’t know it yet, I have a free quiz you could try, or leave a comment and let’s chat!